Fall Final!

"Madness in great ones must not unwatched go"

"Madness in great ones must not unwatched go". In the modern times, as in 2008, you could use that on many. For one thing, the president. Another could be Americans. Back then, it could have been Adolf Hitler. People thought he was great. The moral of that was, his madness should not have went unwatched. However it did.One other thing I see how ever will seem very small in comparison, but I would add the scientists to this statement.

I believe the same could be said for the scientists because, they are considered great and yet, some of their work go unwatched. I believe that, while they are merely just curious, their experiments could effect us all. Just recently, we were all worried about the world ending because of their curiosity. In some ways it could have been very interesting, but the fact is, they were willing to end the world because of their curiosity.

On September 10, 2008, scientist were going to start up the LHC. It is also know as the Large Hadron Collider. What it would do was smash protons together with cataclysmic force. It would hopefully show them how the big bang was created and how it worked. They would also be able to see deeper into matter than ever before. However, it was considered dangerous. The scientist were willing to risk this. They were willing to risk the world all to see deeper into matter. Like it was more important than the lives of children and other people. It was all in all, a very selfish act.

The good thing is, that it went well and that the world did not end. And while it could have been just a scare, it was still there. Point zero chance or not, it was there. And they, the "great ones" had done it. Sure they were being watched for this one experiment, but what about the others? After this experiment, no one seemed to care. They could be doing anything right now. Something very dangerous and they are going unwatched. Perhaps it was because everyone thinks that because they are scientist, they know everything. They know what their doing and so it was OK, whatever it was they were or even are doing it must be OK.

I think that while King Claudius was not a very good man, he was very clever. And that statement proves it. I think that we should listen to that statement and not just allow the "great ones" to do whatever it is with uncaring and unconcerned eyes. They could be doing something very dangerous and we may not know. Or maybe, I am being a paranoid person. Either way, the statement will stick with me. I will also still believe that the "great ones" should be watched a bit more closely.

Step family

You know how in movies, they step parent is always evil. Well, in my opinion, its true. How do I know? I have had a step dad. Let's just say, our relationship is nowhere near good. Or even civil for the matter. Its like all step parents are evil.

I would say that perhaps its because they are from another family and they have this type of resentment toward anyone or anything that was in the life of your biological parent before them. Maybe they think that the main concern should be on them and with them. That they are the best thing that ever happened to your parent and that's the way it will always be. That is merely just a hunch.

I know that for a fact, when my mother met my step dad, he was the nicest guy in the world. He would takes us out and it would always be where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do. He was always getting me things and very understanding, now I'm starting to think that he did that just to get my mom to love him all the more. That he knew that I was my mom's #1 and that if he got me to like him that she would too. It worked sadly enough and I now regret it.

Thanks to my step dad, my mother now lives in Mexico. She's an alcoholic and is doing everything she can to keep her 2 children, my step brother and step sister. She doesn't want my step dad to take them from her, she wouldn't be able to bare it. Sadly enough, I'm no longer her #1. I'm her #4 on her list, which is OK but I can't help but keep blaming my step dad. Funny, how referring to the last essay, "Madness in great ones must not unwatched go" comes in handy. It fits right in here. They all thought he was great and that he could do no wrong because he was great. I'll admit, I was that way for a while too. However, once I saw the signs I knew, and it was very hard to convince the others of this. I still don't think I have. The only one I've convinces was my grandmother and that is simply because she has seen it first hand. That seemed to be the barrier that I could not pass. Getting someone, even just one person to see things from my side. It was hard but I made it and that's all that matters now.

While I say these things, I realize that not all step parents are evil. You see on TV today, all these movies and shows where the step parent and child have a great relationship. More so than the original parent before them. They would happily take their last name and have no trouble calling them mom or dad. They are like their best friend and its nice to see. But sometimes I think its because there are so many movies out there that show the step parent as bad and the world which is becoming more strict by the minute is trying to make everything in life look perfect and great. They want to hide the harsh reality that not all children are blessed with amazing step parents. One day, perhaps the image of evil step parents will be erased from television and movies all together. Maybe all the media.

Perhaps I see these things, step parents and all, the way I do because I got the bad end of the stick but that doesn't mean that others have to. Maybe there are a lot of good step parents out there, but I'll never know. However, when someone speaks of a step parent, I will always picture Cinderella's evil step family and the fat cat Lucifer.

Am I a thinker or a doer?

Apparently, I am a doer, even though I have never gotten into trouble. To me that involves thinking...Contemplating things, not just doing. But hey, I don't see things like Karah and Amanda do. So, seeing as I needed a picture I figured the Cat in the Hat would be perfect because...well he kinda just does things, of course, afterword...HE GETS INTO TROUBLE!!!! (I don't!)

I think I'm a thinker because I would feel bad if I said the wrong thing at the wrong time. Or even embarrass myself by doing something thoughtless. I'm too chicken to get into trouble and disappoint the people close to me so I play it safe by thinking things over. Of course that always gets me into a zoning out mode where I picture myself doing things had I not thought about the action first. I think of people's reactions and I think about all the ways I could control it and/or save myself. Of course, then I get carried away and just start flat out day dreaming.

The thing I would like to change the most about myself is the fact that I think too much and I come off a boring so often times people don't like to be around me. I wish I was fun and spontaneous and I wish I knew how to have a conversation with someone without thinking too much about it that I decided not to so then we just sit in silence. I would also wish I didn't day dream so much and that I would just do some of the things in my day dreams. However, I feel they wouldn't care anyhow, so I don't want to waste my time. Other than my looks, there isn't much else I would want to change about me because I don't know how it would be. What it would be like and all that jazz.

Guess I'll just stick with the Cat in the Hat...he is kind of cute.

No secrets

Have you ever noticed that now days, parents tend to be "nosey". Or in other terms, they tend to "spy" on their kids. And of course, the kids HATE it! They think that they should have a right to privacy. Yet, they never seem to notice that their careless behavior sometimes earns it.

I understand that sometimes parents could in some sense, step over the line. There is a term for that however, called "Over Protective". Its where they have absolutely no trust in their children what so ever, and better yet, their children did nothing to deserve this behavior. I came form one of those families. I remember being in 3rd grade and asking to spend the night at my friend's house for a slumber party...My mother had said no because she didn't want boys to be there. As the years progressed, I finally bugged her until she came up with, "Its not you I don't trust, its the men in the other houses". My grandmother finally told me that, behind my back, my mother had been telling everyone I couldn't be trusted. Yes that really sucks. Especially since I couldn't have done anything wrong anyhow, seeing as I could never and WAS never allowed out of my house unless she (my mother) went with me.

However, there is also the type of parent who is more concerned with being their child's friend than being the parent. Their kids are reckless (most of the time...not always) and disrespectful. They think that because their parents don't care that it doesn't matter. They could fail school or do drugs, have sex, get involved with violence and never break a sweat. Their parent's don't care so why should they. Who ever tries to teach them differently, they don't matter anyhow. However, then there are some kids who are mature enough to try and build a life for themselves, regardless of if their parent's care or not. They get good grades and work to get enough money to move out and have a better life.

In my opinion, I think its ok for parents to spy on their kids at certain times. Kids need a chance to make mistakes to learn from it. When you spend your whole life sheltered and monitored, you don't know what to do with yourself once its over. Once you have their freedom your either scared out of their wits and hide in the dark or go hog wild and get into a heap of trouble. I think that parents should be open minded and not so harsh so that if their kid(s) make a mistake, they won't be afraid to come to them. You know like the dream mother daughter relationship off the TV show "Gilmore Girls".

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while its ok to spy, there is a certain extent to that. Like if you have a feeling your child is making a very big mistake or you think they are in trouble. That's what parents are for. To step in and teach their kids. To get them through things. But, that doesn't mean tearing their room apart inch from inch, going through everything they own. Going through their backpacks constantly. I've been through that and I feel like those things are uncalled for.

But I'm just a teenager...

Being Thrifty...Or not...

So far, the recession seems to finally be clicking something in people's heads. Things that they/ we never seemed to be getting back then. Back then, we had the money, we spent it carelessly. And now...easier said than done.

As the year proceeds, its clear that the money end of the economy is not in the best shape. People seem to be noticing it too. People are losing jobs or getting paid less. People losing their homes. Things that we never saw coming. However, there is always the saying that the future always repeats itself.

That said, people or starting to get wise. They are spending less, buying things they need rather than what they don't need, and even then, they attempt to find the cheapest way to do that. Said task isn't easy. I know from experience and let me tell you, its tough. There is always the chance that one little penny could off set us so much that...Well we don't like to think about it. I say this because it had not been too long ago that my grandmother and I were in some kind of financial problem. I don't remember the problem, just her words and her defeated expression.

I had told her that we would get through it, that we always had. I guess I expected her to agree but she was silent, sitting in her seat of the car at a stop light. She sighed, not looking at me but answered in a tired tone.

"We won't always." She had said and it took me by surprise.

If anything, the one thing we avoided talking about in our house was the economy. Sure we listened to the news but we had gotten into the habit of dismissing it, pretending that we weren't part of that. That we were just on the outside looking in. It had been that way simply because we couldn't handle speaking of it. It was too hard and made both our moods sour. We would fight for days. I still worry about it but again, we attempt to distance ourselves from it.

Sometimes shopping can be fun. We don't do it often , but my grandmother is like me. Perhaps that's why. The money tends to burn a hole in our pockets. And yet, even though we spend all of it, we spend it wisely-To the best of our ability- on clothes that are a bit more cheap than say $74.95, when instead we could buy two pairs of pants, a scarf and a shirt and some other knickknacks with that money.

I guess you could say the fire in the world's pocket is dulling now to a warm heat just enough to let you know its there but also just enough to put in the back of your mind for later. I have no doubt that there are still people out there who spend money furiously and I also have no doubt that when the financial crises has dulled, the flame in the pockets of the people will relight its self and burn once again. Yet I could be wrong. I'd like to be proven wrong, but I won't be too disappointed if I'm proven right. Its just something that happens.

Life goes on.

Advice....Take it or leave it.

When I was younger, I often spoke without thinking. Well, I thought about it sure...However, I always felt the need to speak my mind. And even then, sometimes it was more of how things were said.

I had that one problem that a lot of people seem to have. Not thinking before I spoke. And even then, I didn't think it wrong to say. I never meant it the way it came out was my situation. It was either the tone of my voice or how it was worded but it could have been the most HARMLESS thing ever...Yet I still got into trouble. My mother had always told me that I needed to think before I spoke . And I used to get so mad because I never meant it that way. Though, I still try and stick to it...Sometimes by just not saying anything at all...Kind of like the whole, "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all." Yeah that saying.

But then I would say something I deemed innocent and BAM! We would get into a great argument over what I meant and what she "knew" I really meant. It would get me so angry that I would pop off with, "And just how do you know what I'm thinking?" Of course you know that never sets well with parents. So of course I got into trouble. And then I would get yelled at for being so argumentative. In my own opinion, there is a difference between defending one's self and arguing because you want a good argument. So the next advice, I attempted to take, and yet, for some reason, it never shows.

Yet the advice that I still keep with me is from my old therapist. She had asked me one day, "How do you know it was wrong?". Naturally I was like WHAT? What is this? Some type of quick question. She continued however, the wisdom that I knew she had somewhere in there (seeing as she wrote a book) sparkling in her eyes. "Tell me how you know its right or wrong?" So I told her of all the law makers and all the older people who...Well they just knew these things...And then she laughed and asked, "And just how do they know which is right and wrong? And the people who told them, its just something they created. We don't know for sure, which is right and which is wrong." I was silent after that, eager to hear more. " We all do the best we can," She continued. "Whether its right or wrong in other's eyes, in our own, its right. We feel it inside of us and sometimes its not always the best choice, but it was the right one." And it really got me thinking. She had continued. "At the end of the day, can you rate your self a 10 out of 10? Did you do the best you could? Do you feel like you did the best you could?" I was speechless. "And if so then you did do the best you could."

After word, I had started looking at things a bit differently. I mean I still, in my mind, rate things as right or wrong, but who can't being brought up that way? Yet, even if its wrong, I still try and think about it. For one thing, I hate my mother, and even after all the wrong things she did, she thought, in her mind, that she was doing the right thing. So to her, that's all that matters. Whether or not I or anyone else thinks so.

A tale of revenge.

Ok so here's the thing. I'm not a great story teller, but I'm going to attempt to tell you a story anyway. Its a story that isn't a BIG deal but its something that I know enough facts about to be able to tell clearly and truly.
It was when I was younger. I wasn't a very mature thinker in some means, seeing as I was in 3rd grade. You know how the mind works. Anyway, I had just gotten into trouble for what? I really don't remember. What I do remember is that my mother had threatened to take something dear to me. I'm pretty sure it was Miko, the stuffed animal that I had gotten in boomtown. I don't know why I still keep the blasted thing at times seeing as the person that got it for me is a person I don't really like. Nevertheless, I keep it and I still love it.
So she had threatened to take if from me knowing that I loved the stupid thing more than anything. I didn't believe her, so naturally I looked at her with one of those looks. The ones that tell someone that you don't care, nor do you believe them, and yet innocent enough to deny any foul looks from. Naturally, my mother knew that look, I mean who do you think I got it from? So she took it. She took it and put it up so I couldn't get it and told me that I wouldn't get it back until my attitude changed. Who knew how long that would take? I mean it wasn't like I walked around with a mirror...Ok so I did know when I did it...Sometimes. Anyway, I got mad and stomped to my room. Perhaps I was mad at her for more reasons than taking a dumb stuffed raccoon. I was mad at her for making me move AGAIN! For moving because of a guy AGAIN! I was mad that I had to leave my grandma...I was mad that I couldn't see my best friend. I was mad because I hated school and in my eyes, that was her fault too. I was mad because of all these things and she was just as happy as could be. She had all of her things. It wasn't like I went into her room when I was mad at her and took her things. And so it was then that I decided to give her a taste of her own medicine. She took something I loved so I would do it back. I had to think about what it was though. Something that I could get rid of so she could never find it or them...Something small enough that I could take discreetly and yet, something that she loved...And then I had it. The answer was right under my nose. What was she doing right then? Why, she was outside smoking. What did she seem to like doing? Smoke...Not only that it was bad for her...I could even use that as an excuse...And so I did it...I threw her cigarettes away in the outside garbage can where the dumb truck would come and take them away.
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That night I got into so much trouble I would rather not even discuss it.

And then there was one.

So things are going down hill for Detroit. That must really suck, but one has to admit. Foreign cars are the top sellers. They have more gizmos, more gadgets, more gas millage and everything else. And sure, American cars aren't too shabby but I remember thinking about it. And as I looked, more people seem to be driving the rival's cars.

So far there has been a request from General Motors and Crystler are going to go to Washington to ask for a bailout. Also, next year, it says that Detroit will have built 2.2 million more cars than they can sell. They are suggesting that they file bankruptcy for reasons such as state franchise laws.

I think they should do this because, asking for a $30 billion dollar bailout...We already have so much on our plates right now that that may not be in the best interest. And besides that, as the money seems to be declining, that means people won't have money for gas or cars themselves. The who will buy their cars? They had asked for so much money and it would go to waste...That's just my opinion of course. Also, they really could merge together and form one. Like Chevy and Ford. It wouldn't be so bad. I mean it would for those people who drive Chevys and buy those dumb bumper stickers that claim they hate fords and visa versa. However, I think they'll live.